‘He Loves Me? He Loves Me Not?’ Event Part 3 – The Summary
In tight-knit communities; especially Black, traditional, or culturally religious ones – marriage isn’t just a personal decision. It becomes a communal expectation. Women are raised to talk about it in coded ways: over tea, at family gatherings, during late-night convos with their girls.
And while these conversations offer comfort, insight, and sometimes much-needed laughs they don’t give you the answers that actually matter.
Why? Because the one person who can tell you exactly where your relationship is heading is the man you’re in it with.
Women Talk, Men Decide
It’s not politically correct, but it’s often true: men tend to move with clarity when they’re serious. When a man wants to marry you, he won’t stall indefinitely. He doesn’t get distracted by vibes, pressure, or timelines set by his boys. He’ll have a plan — maybe quiet, maybe slow — but it’s there. And it’s based on you, not what the group chat thinks.
Yet, women often waste years seeking understanding from everywhere else: girlfriends, aunties, Instagram captions, and “soft life” sermons. We perform, adjust, prove — all while hoping someone will validate that we’re marriage-ready.
But no amount of feminine performance will move a man who doesn’t already see a future with you.
Cultural Pressure Isn’t the Same as Personal Alignment
Your family might want grandbabies. Your community might idolise “power couples.” Your friends might be on their second baby shower. None of that means your situation is moving toward marriage.
And sitting in circles where the pressure is thick and the advice is vague (“just pray,” “stay loyal,” “don’t nag”) won’t help if the man you’re with isn’t aligned.
You don’t need more pep talks. You need clarity.
From him.
When to Stop the Talk
It’s not that you shouldn’t ever talk to your girls or your elders, but you need to know when to stop. If you’ve had the same conversation about your man’s “potential” for the last year (or three), you’re not looking for advice anymore. You’re looking for permission to wait longer.
Don’t let cultural pressure make you ignore your own instincts.
Ask the Right Person the Right Questions
What does he believe about marriage? Is he planning for it or passively letting you hope for it? Has he ever asked you real questions about your future, or is he just vibing through the years?
And more importantly: If his answer disappoints you, are you willing to face it?
The Bottom Line:
Women can hold space, give wisdom, and share experience. But they can’t give you his intentions. At some point, the only person who can speak on your relationship’s future is the man who holds it.
Talk to him.
Watch what he does.
Then act like you believe him whether the answer is what you wanted or not.
THE FITNESS BRAND 
Leave a comment